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Felt tip pen

afcw_felt_2002

Shit. Wank. Fuck. Bollocks. Koppel. We did NOT need Adult Prison 0 Young Offenders Institute 1 tonight. Hell, we don’t need it any night, but this wasn’t the best preparation for the massively hyped encounter on Saturday against the other AFCW. It was one of those games from the dim and distant past, namely we threw the kitchen sink at them (and if Bassey knew he would get away with it, probably literally throw the kitchen sink as well). And they bloody scored and we lost. Bah. We were never likely to score, it was fated. We even had TWO players one-on-one with the goalie but did we score? Did we fuck. Hmph.

Anyway….

Plus points: Joe Sheerin returning and putting some tackles in.

Minus points: Losing. Do you think the players really wanted to get hurt?

The referee’s a ……… : Oh dear, how shall I put this? He was the ref from Ash. Nuff said. Coincidentally, upon hearing this information, a rather impassioned “That twat? Go and twat him now” cry was heard from, ahem, somebody who ought to know better. Charming.

Why the result should not have stood: (1) Feltham were sponsored by Seagrave Haulage, who also sponsor the CCL. This is blatant commercial favouritism, and our ability to compete on a level playing field was severely impared. (2) The Ks floodlights were flickering strobe-like. Not only does this endanger anyone with epilepsy, but given past experience, such erratic lighting proves errant match results.

Quotes: (1) “If that was offside, my cock is a kipper” – somewhat unusual form of abuse there, likening a farmyard animal to a fish. (2) “It could be worse, you could be Michael Jackson’s son” – and you thought it was just me doing bad taste comments about games? (3) “You mis-sold my pension you wanker” – me to the bank-manager resembling lino. Perhaps most disconcerting of all, he laughed and smiled knowingly.

Point to ponder: Why is it that every time we hype ourselves up, we fall to earth with a horrible bump? Tonight was no different to the Spurz six-game bonanza (ahem), and I’m sure you can find littered throughout Wimbledon history similar tales of woe. I blame Phillo 🙂

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) A 2500 crowd. Am I supposed to be disappointed or pleased? (2) There were some Feltham fans there, who actually did about 10-15 seconds of singing. Amazing. (3) Your humble and esteemed editor watching the Ireland game beforehand and forgetting to get a drink. Still, nice to see Glen “New York” Crowe of Bohs becoming the first LoI player for 14 years starting a game. I’ve got a t-shirt of him, don’t you know…

Anything else? Yeah, I came very close to buying a fleece tonight had any been on sale….

Hello Mum: The speed of this report is dedicated to the guy (you know who you are) who wanted it up before he got into work. Here you are…

So, was it worth it? Urgh, not really. I could have been at home this evening

In a nutshell: Watch us stuff Wallingford