Yes, SW19’s ARMY is back from various business ventures in the USA, and is ready to get on with life again. You may notice that the archive is still dormant, I still have a couple of months to put up, this will be done when I am slightly more compus menti. Believe me, doing a 9000 mile round trip and reporting on a match the same day you come back is not good for your mental health 🙂
Speaking of mental health, explain Bagged 0 Baggies 1 to me. How the fuck can we play so well away from SP yet when we play at the Toilet Bowl we always seem to do absolute cack? In a nutshell, we played pretty OK first half, then we seemed to lose our way in the second, and when they scored we practically lost any ounce of skill we had left. Shades of last season?
The goal practically killed us, it was soft – so soft that Andrex were thinking of using it for their new line of toilet rolls (“New Andrex WFC softness – will mop up any kind of shit”), and then we just gave up. Interesting to gauge the crowd reaction at various stages : cheers for Angryman seemed to die down a lot when he actually came on.
The Gayle substitution was somewhat symbolic – is he on his way out? Funny that he thought that the rapturous round of applause he got was for his effort on the field.
Shame for him it was more relief than anything. However, and I can only report on what I saw and heard around me, people are really starting to get pissed off with JH. I think the discovery that his wage bill is close to £1m a year, and when he still looks short on pace even now (especially the incident towards the end where he had a 2 yard head start on a loose ball and the WBA goalie still beat him to it) and isn’t appearing to fire up the players, well, it’s understandable why people are making him a scapegoat. I can’t recall the last time I actually heard “What A Load Of Rubbish” after a game, but I don’t blame anyone for singing it.
Anyway, shall we?
Plus points: The younger players, ie Gier, Hawkins, Pecker and even Williams looked up for it at least. Trond didn’t look bad. The full time whistle.
Minus points: Capitulation City (which is just down the freeway from Apathy Heights) after the West Brom goal. Too many other things to mention, so you’ll have to fill it in yourself.
Look, I’m not really going to bother doing “Where to improve” in future: I’ve said it virtually every week now – we look about half a yard off the pace, today was painfully obvious. Serious questions must be asked whether we actually HAVE a fitness coach. If we do, where did he get his qualification? Oxford, TX?
Quotes: (1) “Bet you’re glad you came all the way over to watch this aren’t you?” – un-named Womble to me. No, I’m not. Really. (2) “Due to unforseen circumstances, the referee has decided to call the match off” – the PA on the safety drill (see below) at the end of the game. If only……
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The safety drill at the end of the game for the Lower Holmesdale. I didn’t know that SP had a safety certificate, a legal one certainly. How can blocking off most major exits and the public conveniences be safe? Hope there is never a legit incident there, the whole place could be shut down. (2) I still can’t recall the last time “What A Load Of Rubbish” was chanted very loudly to our team.
Want some grass man? You’re on plenty of it : There is supposedly an illegal narcotic that is meant to totally fuck your self control up. Can’t remember whether it’s supposed to be speed, ecstacy or crack, but whatever it is, Jason Roberts certainly took a load of it. If he was a farmyard animal, he would have been put down under the BSE act.
Spotted : John Harley at the players bar after the game.
Scary : Kelvin’s kicking. Alan Kimble Mk II
In a nutshell : Shite. Shite. And thrice shite.