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Perma-Tam

Just my luck that on an evening when I want as little to write about as possible, it ends up Tamworth 2 Pigs 2, we go 2-0 down, lose yet another CB and our goalie and yet come back and maybe could have even won it.

To be honest, if you could define a game as one of two halves, this one would pretty much be the standard textbook issue of one. The first 45, we were outright cack. Passes going astray, Inns managing to look shit even before going off injured, and JP himself getting crocked during the warmup.

Even so, I don’t think I want to explain the first goal of theirs. Basically, Pullen went out to kick it, seemed to get caught in two minds and basically managed to kick it against their player. With hilarious consequences. For them, anyway. Not to mention the orgasm the PA bloke had after they scored it.

Funny thing was, we played OK after that. Well, until they scored their second goal, anyway. By then, flashbacks of Worcester last season were coming back to me. Same part of the world too – I always used to hate the Midlands in the WFC days. Places like Coventry were complete dumps and we always seemed to play shit at them.

Anyway, I don’t quite know what happened in the second half to gee us up like that, but thank fuck it did. Once the first goal went in, the second one seemed almost inevitable. Did we deserve to get a third? Possibly, although on our first half performance perhaps not. Still, I did say to the bloke behind me in the first half that I would happily accept a draw…

So, what have we learnt today in our continued Learning Curveâ„¢? Firstly, our centre back position is fast becoming a Spinal Tap drummer-esque joke. How many are out now? Three? Brett Johnson must be looking both ways before crossing the road at the moment. Will we manage to beat the AFCW record for most different players for one position in a single season? The current target is about nine goalkeepers from the Ryman Prem promotion season. We’re well on target.

Secondly, if nothing else it proves our will to win isn’t in any doubt. We did slow up at the end but I think that’s because we knackered ourselves out. And thank fuck for Wrexham’s international players, because I wouldn’t have fancied Tuesday. Mind you, after hearing Cambridge won 7-0 against FGR, I’m kind of hoping for a hastily rearranged England C game with Danny Kedwell and Lewis Taylor selected…

Thirdly, at the risk of us getting a 7-0 stuffing ourselves next Saturday, there’s a touch of the BSS that I didn’t expect. Namely that even when we’re weakened opposition teams don’t put us to the sword. Even Oxford didn’t. I didn’t expect any BRT/Fisher type outfits, but at the same time there has been nothing to make me go “oh fuck”. Either that or maybe we aren’t a bad side after all….

Anyway, shall we?

Plus points: We didn’t lose. Second half. DK. Lewis Taylor. Way we came back from more than a 0-2 deficit. Good atmosphere behind the goal.

Minus points: We didn’t win. First half performance. Alan Inns. JP’s kicking. JP’s injury.

The referee’s a…: “Hitleresque little shit”, apparently. Certainly failed to give us a penalty and indeed managed to book Elliott Godfrey for diving simulation as a result. Singularly failed to read the Conf rulebook and give us our manatory spot kick each game. Oh, and was it me or was the lino in the first half carrying an injury? A physical one, and not the usual mental one that is…

Them: Didn’t try and rip us off, so deserve a kiss for that alone. Went 2-0 up and seemed not to know what to do with it. Appeared to enjoy giving the big one at half time, with their keeper (the aptly named Alcock) taking the piss out of JP’s first goal and their #7 reportedly giving us the V-sign. Erm, you’re supposed to act the cunt after the final whistle, not with 45 minutes to go. Their #3 was also described as a poor man’s Frank Sinclair. I wish to point out to Mr Sinclair’s lawyers that I did not say that.

As for their fans, well…… quiet I would describe them. Except right at the end when they gave a pro-Franchise song to us. Must have been the highlight of their day, if not season. Hope somebody recorded them doing it, because putting it on CD would make a good medical aid for insomniac Wombles.

Actually, I’m being a bit unfair here. They did make one other bit of noise – “No one likes us”. Yes, they actually sung Millwall’s anthem. Funny, I thought that you had to be relevant to sing that. Anyway, this site has far too much respect for other teams to make snide comments like that. After all, we faced a major name in non-league football from the Brum area today, one which we had many a tussle (on and off the pitch) in ye olde Southern League days….

Oh wait, you mean we didn’t play Nuneaton?

Point to ponder (1): To quote a well-known SW19 reader after the game today, how many of our fans will now write to Paul Parker apologising over his comments about Jon Main?

OK, that might be going a bit far, but once again his (JM’s, not Parker’s) head dropped and looked the weak link up front. You really get the impression his chance of making it in the big time of non-league is slowly but surely slipping away. Trouble is, so does he. I just wonder what we do about him? Keep him on for the full 90 minutes and hope he picks up? Play him as the impact sub again? Play him in the reserves on a spare week? Drop him altogether  or – dare I say it – put him on loan to a BSS side?

I presume we’re still using that sports pychologist bloke, although right now he’s probably taking therapy himself in trying to get JM’s scoring going.

Three’s a crowd: 1669, and what a nice little stand they put us in. Stewards were cacking themselves a bit when the terrace got fuller and fuller. Luton are so going to love visiting here – they’ll probably take the roof home as a souvenir. Oh, and your editor has now discovered that hot PG Tips is a good hair conditioner, especially when applied liberally after a second goal bundle.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Their mascot really looked a bit gay, didn’t it? Loved to show off its acrobatic skills – the thing is, if you do that sort of thing but run around like a loved-up Graham Norton, you end up like this guy. Wonder what the individual who twatted Tintin Haydon will do with this mascot? Bum it? (2) One thing about the Midlands that I do like – Kerrang FM. Although it did play the Spin Doctors. Come to think of it, after listening to it on the M42/M40 coming back to London, it doesn’t play much different to what you can pick up on Absolute/XFM throughout most of the day. You might get the occasional Danzig record on but do RCHP, Hockey and Jet count as hard rock, let alone metal? As an aside, Absolute played Def Leppard on their classic rock show… (3) What was that dubious looking white door by the away entrance tea-bar? A fire escape? An outside bog?

Point to ponder (2): From the “Unwritten Rules of Football Supporting” manual. Why is watching a game more relaxing when you’re 2-0 down than when you’ve pulled it back to 2-2 and it’s the last ten minutes?

Anything else? Yes – couldn’t help noticing that a few people were wearing WFC specific clothes today. Any reason? OK, I know that in some quarters of the non-league fraternity that we should pretend that our club didn’t play against the likes of Manchester United and Cambridge United in the 1980s, nor 1988 and all that. Even little things like saying the game vs Oxford last week was the first ever meeting with them – maybe under the AFCW banner but certainly not as Wimbledon – seems to have caused a re-awakening of something that is as much a part of our history as beating Staines in a playoff final.

I suppose time really is a healer here. We went through such a great deal during, if we’re being honest, 1991 to 2002 that it can be quite easy to look at WFC as “the past”. It isn’t, it’s our birthright – our actual birthright – to celebrate that. I suppose what I’m trying to say here is, you’ve earnt the right to wear WFC clobber if you want to. Don’t let the gobshites tell you that was not our club, it is. Remember, we didn’t bend over and take what happened to us willingly, most of the people slagging us off over it certainly would.

In other words, we are Wimbledon. Perhaps now even more than ever.

So, was it worth it? In the end, I suppose so…

In a nutshell: Oink