DONS IN CRISIS – SW19 SPECIAL

ANGRY DONS FANS vented their frustration at their team following a shocking 2-1 reverse at home to bottom side Harrow Borough.

Fuming supporters of the pre-season favourites saw their team collapse to just one point in three games. Under-pressure Dons boss Terry Brown saw his side booed off despite Jake Leberl’s ninth minute effort and the home league debut of fan favourite Marcus Gayle.

SW19 gauged reaction of the fans after the poor performance:

“That wasn’t poor, that wasn’t all right, that was fucking shit” – CUNW, Colliers Wood

“I want my money back” – TBBM, South London

“Bring back Dave Anderson” – RD, Morden

“Have you got change for £20?” – some bloke SW19 met in the car park.

SO WHAT HAS gone wrong for the bookies’ promotion tips already? SW19’s Chief football writer REPD puts the boot into the crisis-ridden South London outfit…..

Look, I’m a journo by trade, and it’s part of my job description to make even a mild disagreement sound like the imminent threat of nuclear war. Ask Martin Jol.

Actually, I don’t think I can describe that today. Seriously, I can’t. If it happened once in a while, then OK, these things happen. Christ, I was there for games like 7-1 against Villa. But when you lose to the team at the bottom of the table and playing like complete rancid shite as well, that’s just taking the piss. Especially after our recent “performances”.

I’m glad we didn’t equalise, because that would have just hidden the very deep seated problems we have right now. First things first – TB is going to stay, and let’s face it he’s going to be the last one out of his ear right now. But if there are any players who don’t want to be playing for AFCW right now, they can fuck off. Seriously, just fuck off.

We are not a team. We are a collection of 11 individual players. Webb ain’t cutting it and neither is Jolly. And if it’s true that Jolly did stick his fingers in his ears when TB called out instructions to him we should pay him off and tell him to get fucked. We don’t need that sort of attitude about. He certainly hasn’t earnt his money this season.

It seems that everyone’s brought into the pre-season hype, including some of our players. Not so easy now, is it? Let’s face it, KM is an easy venue for away teams to go to at the moment. Just turn up, weather the initial storm (and even today we started off brightly) and that’s 50% of the result achieved already. We lose heart, we panic, our crowd go quiet and all of a sudden Fortress Kingsmeadow becomes Center Parcs Kingsmeadow, where visitors have the time of their lives. They know it, and by fuck we know it as well

Why’s it all gone to shit so quickly? I’m told that we were the canine’s testicles for Ramsgutter, and now I’m believing they’re all feeding me bollocks. I don’t have a ST this season, but I can imagine those who did buy them on the strength of the Revolution feeling very, very cheated right now. Wonder who’ll be the first new purchaser of a ST to return it?

Let’s not kid ourselves about honeymoons, and still gelling. We have gone backwards. Perhaps we should have saved some money and kept DA in the summer? At least we didn’t lose these sort of games under him. Did TB change too much of the squad in the beginning? Back when we lost to Bromley in the playoffs there was a feeling that we just needed to go that one step further. Right now, we’ve gone three steps backwards and continuing to reverse very, very quickly…………

If we beat Boreham Wood on Tuesday, we should be awarded the performance of the season, because there no way our absolute shit collection of players is capable of winning anything right now. Can’t win tackles, can’t win games, christ they couldn’t even win a tombola if they’d bought all the tickets.

But we won’t beat Boreham Wood. Today we were supposed to make that big comeback and of course we know the rest. Last week at ETU, I thought that we’d get it out of our system by Staines. After Staines I thought that we’d get on track by 4.45pm by the next game. Christ, I even had the opening paragraph planned out for today. “Ah, that’s more like it. Bow 4 Harrow 0 and suddenly all looks well again”. Somehow, I feel worse for typing that.

Promotion? Forget it. Phone up Chelmsford and Billy Rickay now and just concede the title. Save our energy for the inevitable relegation battle. Except that we lost to the team at the bottom of the table today. Sorry to bold that sentence again, I keep doing it today. Can’t think why. What’s the record for lowest points ever gained in the RP? After today, I’m sure we’ll make a damn good attempt at it.

No, I’m not over-reacting. Not much anyway. But let’s face it, this was shit. DA got slaughtered for better performances than this, so TB can thank himself lucky right now he’s still in his honeymoon period. Though any more so-called “performances” and he might be looking for a new job before October. He kept the players behind a long time on Monday, and reportedly kept them behind till at least gone after 6pm today. Obviously, it’s not having any effect.

Could TB turn out to be an expensive mistake? After all, there was massive hype surrounding him and his track record speaks for itself, but are we finding out painfully that there’s no guarantees in football? Could it be – and dare I say it – that he might not have been the right man for the job after all? No, I’m still not over-reacting. But I’ll be honest – with the exception of the second half at Wealdstone, all the games I’ve seen this season have disappointed me, and I can’t pretend otherwise any longer.

And I’ll be honest here, and call me a cunt for thinking it, right now I feel a bit conned. I didn’t expect it to gel immediately, but I also don’t expect to lose to the team at the bottom of the table (that bloody bold tic I have right now) and in such a meek way either.

I distinctly remember asking the individual next to me during the second half if anything had happened 15 minutes in. I think that’s when it struck me how badly we were playing. OK, top teams can and do play badly first half, but usually they come good in the second half. Granted, there was a real buzz when Marcus Gayle came on, and maybe for about 5 minutes we really were going to make that comeback. But the longer it went on, the less likely we were going to retaliate. And perhaps the boos at the end might mean I’m not the only one feeling a tad done over right now…………

Anyway, inwards and upwards. Maybe.

Plus points: At least Franchise lost. Scoring immediately after their first goal.

Minus points: If you think that I’m going to repeat everything that was wrong today, you can fuck right off.

The referee’s a………: I can’t even blame him for anything, as despite occasionally missing a lino’s flag he did pretty well.

Them: Be fair to them, it was two great strikes of theirs, and although they were the team at the bottom of the table (here I go again) they were probably more likely to win. Even though they weren’t that good, which makes today even worse. Did try the old timewasting ploy though towards the end though – they should have just asked Fergie to cross it from the flanks, it would have had the same effect.

Point to ponder: When did we last see a result that bad? Certainly in the AFCW era this has to be up there. I can remember some outright shite at times – the draws last season (and boy, don’t they seem like a golden era right now), collapsing at AFC Wallingford in our first season. But really, I’m struggling to think of an equivalent since 2002. The way the result just made everyone so, well, numb. I suppose it’s really THAT Sheffield Wednesday Selhurst game in our last Prem season that can be held up as a comparison.

Back then, we knew we were finished. It was our must-win game and we lost it (although I personally felt much worse after the Bradford away game of the same year). Today, I think the realisation that we aren’t good enough at this very moment dawned on us. We should be a lot better but we aren’t. Previously, we could tolerate shit games because we knew we would bounce back the next time. Right now, you can’t see us doing that. Right now, you just expect another good opening 20 minutes at BW without scoring, us losing our way, a defensive fuckup and then chasing the rest of the game. We might come away with a point, but you can just sense it. Be honest, I’m not far wrong am I?

Oh, and as an aside – the last time we saw massively raised expectations a la TB coming in at the season’s start was Drillo back in 1999.

Truth is stranger than fiction: I mentioned how numb everyone was afterwards. Seriously, I have never seen people so gobsmacked, so shell shocked afterwards. I wrote “stunned” in my notes but I don’t think that conveys it. Even the boos at the end were stifled through disbelief. Maybe we’ve reached the nadir now, although I certainly don’t feel that way right now.

Anything else? Yeah, Marcus Gayle. True, he looked 36 years old, and his best days are clearly behind him. But with the possible exception of Jamie Lawrence, he was still clearly head and shoulders above everyone else on that pitch. He won headers, he knew what to do with the ball. It clearly illustrated the immense gap between a typical non-league player and one that has played in the Premiership, SPL and for his country. Perhaps if we’d played better all round we might have given him the result he deserved?

In a nutshell: Losing to the team at the bottom of the table. And no, I can’t be fucked to apologise for bolding it this time.